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The witness of Bob Murphy...
DeColores All,
Enclosed are all the memories and comments I received regarding Bob Murphy
to date. Thank you so much for taking the time to send them in. This
includes the previous 25 sent out with many more added to the beginning.
I encourage any of you with a Bob Murphy story who hasn't sent it to me to
please do so.
Keep an eye out for an article on Bob Murphy in the Southern Cross due out
later this week. Peace and blessings to you all.
John Sawaya
**************************************************************
Sent by Theresa Marcotte
Thank you for all the memories and comments! I am forever blessed with the
last six years spent with my best friend and the time he gave me and my
three children. Bob Murphy is the most holy, best man I have been blessed
to know. He gave me more than I could ever dream of in a lifetime. We are a
better family because of Bob as he drew us closer to Jesus, and I feel him
watching over us each minute even now.
Teresa Marcotte
*****
Sent by Cyndi Sapper
I have many moments and many reasons to be thankful and grateful that my
family and I were blessed to have Bob in our lives.
First are the ways he Blessed my husband, Steve. For awhile Bob would be at
our house often and we would always invite him to stay for dinner. With 3
kids, one being autistic, our home life is hardly ever "calm." As the kids
would be careening around the house we would say, "Sorry for the riot Bob."
He always joined the kids in their rioting!.
Bob loved unconditionally. No matter how many times I felt that I had
nothing to contribute to the BMB, he assured me I did. And Bob loved my
children unconditionally. He loved Brian the most when we were at our wits
end! He loved Katie and invited her to join him at 5:30 mass...my daughter
is so blessed. Whenever Katie would do something with her music bob would hug
her and say, "Katie, when I come back I want your life! Just keep God in it for me!"
And Bob loves my son Stevenson. When Stevenson was 6 he transferred from a
private pre-school to
public Kindergarten. All the hard work of Stevenson's therapists seemed to be going downhill during
the transition. I would pick Stevenson up from school and be in tears because the little speech we had
worked to get was decreasing and the socialization that had been growing was regressing. Then I would
drive by Bob's house, stop and just had Stevenson over to Bob. Bob would hug Stevenson, kiss him, pray
over him and sing to him. And Stevenson ALWAYS said "Hi" to Bob.
I will love Bob always. I wish God\'s plan allowed him to be with us longer.
But I know when God called, Bob did not say, "Now?" he said, "It's about time!"
Bob will always be the epitome of Christ with Skin On.
*****
Sent by David Tepool
I first met Bob at a "Life in the Spirit" retreat hosted by Deacon Ken Finn.
Bob was serving as a volunteer and leading music. It was in the early 90's
and this was the first religious retreat I had been on in my life. Although
it was only a day retreat at the church in Coronado, I was a bit uneasy.
Fortunately, Bob was my small group leader and he quickly put me at ease
with his charisma and personality. I don't remember the details of our
conversations that day, but I do know I was moved by his love of God and the
music he played.
YES...his music...other people could play the same music, but it wouldn't be
the same, because you could see and hear the passion he had for offering his
songs up to God. In the years to come I would be in a few audiences
listening to Bob play, usually solo, and the music and words still run
through my head. He moved people, not to be a Bob Murphy music
groupee...but he moved them to know God more intimately and deeply.
Thanks Bob for all you gave me during my time in San Diego.
Sincerely,
David Tepool
*****
Sent by Heather Huffman
I worked with Bob at Holy Trinity for awhile several years ago. He was our
music teacher while I taught second grade for three years. He was a true
inspiration and so filled with the overwhelming love of God, Jesus, and the
Blessed Mother Mary! The kids and all the staff adored him and appreciated
his talents so very much! He played his beautiful music on my Cursillo
weekend in October when we had to evacuate due to the fires. I believe I
last saw him at Holy Trinity graduation last year where he sang a heartfelt
song that really touched me, as so many of his songs and music did. It was
particularly moving to me because the graduates were my first class that I
taught and it was so fabulous seeing how they grew up, but still sang with
Bob to make the celebration even more special! I am going to miss his ever
smiling face and wonderful melodies so much! I was so in awe of all the
people that were actually able to attend a daytime funeral. The service was
so special and an obvious sign that he was
so dearly loved by so many! God truly blessed us by having such an
incredibly faith filled man in our lives! I will keep his family and friends
in my prayers!
Thank you for all the encouragement and love Bob! You will be missed more
than you know!
Sincerely,
Heather Huffman
*****
Sent by Joe Robilotta
Today ,ten days later ,I'm still not sure how I'm supposed to act knowing
that someone like Bob left this earth having done so much to help all those
he meet in one way or another. Am I to do an one eighty and wipe my tears
and be more like Bob, not that I've lived a wrong life , but I think I need
to live a more fulfilled life . Seeing Mitch Rennix at the services, is just
another example of what I think my life should be . Filled with more loving
my fellow person. I've got a long way to go. I've known Bob for over twenty
years threw my wife Carol's (Connoly) family , and was lucky to have him
sing at our wedding. It was amazing to say the least , then being part of
Cursillo ,whenever I got the chance to work team school, there he was again
doing what he dose best , singing and being a friend to anyone who needs
one. I'm left with the same hollow feeling I had when my Father left this
earth to be with God, I don't know what to believe. Thanks for listening,
Bob we will miss you ,but we will see you soon.
God Bless, Joe Robilotta
*****
Sent by Harold Bell
On one of the Cursillo weekends a deacon shared a talk with us simply called
"The Dash". He went on to explain how on everyone's gravestone when we pass
on there are always three basic things, sometimes some other sayings, but
always the basic three: the person's name, the date of their birth and the
date of their death. Inevitably we miss the most important part of all –
the dash mark separating birth from death. Ironically that is not only the
most important part, but actually is the only part that really counts. In
the overall picture of our salvation it doesn't't matter when we lived or
when we died. Of course it matters to the family, all their friends and
loved ones, because it is such a great loss. In Bob Murphy's case his loss
and how badly he will be missed is simply indescribable. But ah, the dash:
It's not just about when we lived or how long we lived – it is simply about
"how" we lived. The dash is God's infinite love and mercy, the endless
graces he gives us and the only part that truly matters is what we do with
these precious gifts. As Father Brian stated so dramatically and
beautifully, as Catholics we just don't believe in the Resurrection, we
know! We know as children of God we will be brought home to the Father. All
we have to do is live the "dash", accept his gift (however undeserving we
may be), share these gifts with others, and walk humbly with the Lord. I
have never met anyone personally in my life who lived his "dash" as
persistently, as fervently or with as much love as Bob did. He has been a
great example and inspiration to me since I met him 15 years ago through
Cursillo. After experiencing Bob's rosary and funeral, and seeing firsthand
the tremendous extent Bob touched people's lives was unbelievably
inspirational. I also know for every person present there were hundreds
more that weren't able to be there, but have been touched just as we were
by Bob's endless giving. I think of the "dash" periodically, but after the
experience of this last few days I will never let another day go by in my
life without remembering the meaning of the "dash" in my prayers.
Thank you, Lord, for giving us Bob Murphy to share his love with us.
Harold Bell
*****
Sent by Steve Gauvin
When I think of Bob, I think of his music and how "He Gave All He had to
Jesus" - and how all that he gave came back and touched us all in so many
special ways. His music always made my singing sound better, or maybe it
was just louder not better. Anyway, I always recall how the hills were
alive with music and men signing and you just couldn't help but sing when he
played - it was infectious.
I was blessed to work a number of Cursillos with Bob and I always remember
asking him for special songs that had deep roots for me during my college
days. I recall asking him to sing "Path of Life" when I was doing a Rollo.
He called me a number of times to tell me he tried and just couldn't find
it. He asked if there was another song I could recommend he sing? I
suggested "On Eagle's Wings" was a great one as that always brought tears of
joy to me. I still recall his smiling face when I came into the kitchen and
the cookistas started singing "Path of Life," when all along I thought "On
Eagles Wings" was coming.... I hadn't heard that song for nearly 20 years
and new tears of joy were found once again. He and the Cookistas sang like
angels.
When I heard of Bob's death I looked for days for a file that had my
favorite Bob Murphy song in it, one he sang for me in the Rollo room before
the last Rollo I shared. This was a solo and when I walked into the room
and stood at the podium, Bob began to sing. It was such a beautiful song,
my heart was just filled with joy, which eventually turned to tears and I
had to take a moment to catch my breath as it was taken away from me. You
know what I am talking about. It is my last and clearest memory of Bob on
the mountain. I had placed the file, which included my Rollo and a copy of
the words to his song, somewhere for safe keeping, but I couldn't find it
anywhere. I looked for days and I finally resolved myself to the fact that I
wouldn't find it... The song played repeatedly in my head and I prayed for
help to find it. This morning, after a shower - still dripping wet, I walked
straight over to a pile I didn't even know existed and there it was sitting
right on top. I came downstairs still wet and wrapped in a towel, with
tears of joy in my eyes, and shared it with my wife. She started reading
the song and soon her eyes filled with tears of joy as well. Then she began
to read my Rollo and said, "Did you know you talk about Bob in your Rollo?"
She showed me what I'd written regarding Formation and, "how this special
musician guided by the Lord's hand was a beautiful example of the Lord's
Music working in his Formation." Here are a few of the lyrics from his
song, which I can remember him singing so clearly: "He Gave All"
I will give all I am,
I'll give everything to Jesus,
And no, it may not be that much,
Still I'll give all I've got to give.
I will give all I am,
I'll give my heart and soul to Jesus,
He'll make it more than enough, to save my weary soul.
Such a beautiful song from a beautiful gift. Bob truly "Gave all he had to
Jesus" everyday of his life and we are better men and women because of him
in our lives. His songs and smile will remain forever engraved in my heart
and I, like you, am a better person for knowing Bob Murphy.
*****
Sent by Lou Schwartz
Bob Murphy was the closest example of a living, breathing, down-to-earth
saint that I will ever have hugged in my life in San Diego. What more is
there to say about him? I think God called him home, because he had done it
all!
Here is something, written by Ralph Waldo Emerson, titled:
"Life Success"
"To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false
friends;
To appreciate beauty and find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch,
or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier, because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded".
Bob Murphy's Life was a "Success"!
Lou Schwartz
*****
Sent by Michael May
I met Bob on my Cursillo weekend, Bob gave the talk on Evangelization and
during that talk I came to fully understand my purpose in life. I was so
blessed to get to know Bob even more as we continued to run into him as Bob
was so committed to his faith but most of all God's service. Bob was true
faith in action to me and without a doubt a modern day saint. Bob's impact
and example will remain with me forever. My last exchange with Bob was at
Benedictus where as usual He was doing the music and then was off to a full
day of activities (two more gigs and then some prep work for Steubenville)
and I said Bob "do you ever get a weekend 'off' "Bob (always quick with a
response) smiled and said "I must be about my fathers affairs". Bob lived
this. I honestly believe whenever I want to 'be with Bob' again this is all
I will have to do, because that is where his spirit was and always will be.
Blessings,
M. May.
*****
Sent by Shawn Rossi
"A trained monkey could do this" is what I remembered Bob saying numerous
times during his weekend as Rector for Cursillo #222. Now I feel even more
blessed to have been a candidate that weekend. Bob kept saying that to shun
off praise for his great leadership, and instead he kept deflecting the
credit to his Subs, staff, the other workers, and most importantly-- Christ.
I remember seeing Bob so many times over the past 5 years being so genuinely
humble, putting his head down, and smiling off any praiseworthy words
towards him. I remember seeing him work so hard at Steubenville San Diego
behind the scenes and at the masses, getting things ready for the Eucharist
at mass and helping things run smoother. I remember all the great songs and
going to a team mass one time in which his music made a disappointing day
turn brighter for me. Bob, God didn't need any trained monkeys- he needed a
good man and that's why He choose to bring you home. You will be missed-
thank you for being the Rector for weekend 222- we were all blessed to have
experienced it with you leading the way.
*****
Sent by Moira Noonan
I knew Bob from his music ministry for the Healing Masses for Fr. Jerry all
those years that he contributed. He added so much joy through his music at a
time when so many people were waiting for their healing. When my book
'Ransomed From Darkness' came out, he was one of the first to read it. He
called me right away and said my book had a really important message and he
wanted me to speak at his Parish. I agreed to and on the night I got down to
Jamul, I could not find Bob. He was in the kitchen in a cook's apron
preparing the Appreciation Dinner for his Parish. When I find him he says
Hi then proceeds to set all the tables. He has me sit with Fr. Scott and he
even serves us our dinner plates as well. While we all are eating dinner he
and his niece sing beautiful music for us and entertain us. Bob is still
wearing his cook's apron! Then he introduces me as the Speaker. By the end
of the evening he is still in his apron washing dishes. This man in the
apron was the Director of Religious Education with the true heart of a
servant. "The Leader must be like the servant".Luke22vs.24 Thank you Bob
for your witness as a humble servant of the Lord.
*****
Sent by Gary MacIsaac
BOB LIVED AROUND THE CORNER FROM ME. I GOT TO KNOW BOB WHEN WE WERE BOTH
EXPERIENCING THE SAM PAIN OF DIVORCE. I NICKNAMED BOB'S PORCH LIGHT THE
HOLY SPIRIT LIGHT. WHEN I SAW THE LIGHT ON I KNEW BOB WAS HOME. THERE WAS
TIMES WHEN ONE OF US WOULD BE IN TOUGH TIMES AND WE WOULD SHOW UP AT EACH
OTHER'S HOUSE. SOMETIMES WE HAD LENGTHY CONVERSATIONS OTHER TIMES WE HAD
ONLY A FEW WORDS TO SAY TO EACH OTHER. WE ALWAYS ENDED IN A HUG AND A
PRAYER. BOB TOLD ME THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING WE CAN DO FOR EACH OTHER
IS TO PRAY BUT SOMETIMES WE NEED A LITTLE MORE ,WE NEED TO SHOW UP. WE NEED
TO BE PHYSICALLY PRESENT WITH SOMEONE AND WE DO NOT HAVE TO SAY A LOT. BOB
CALLED THESE MOMENTS "JESUS IN THE FLESH MOMENTS" I NEVER FORGOT THOSE
WORDS. WE CAN ALL BE JESUS IN THE FLESH FOR ALL OF OUR BROTHER'S AND
SISTERS.
ONE FINAL NOTE. I TALKED ABOUT THE HOLY SPIRIT LIGHT ON BOB'S PORCH. I
ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS BOB'S WAY OF LETTING ME KNOW HE WAS HOME. I BROUGHT
THIS UP TO HIM AND HE HAD A BIG SMILE ON HIS FACE AS HE TOLD ME "GARY, THE
LIGHT IS ON ALL THE TIME, I NEVER SHUT IT OFF." WE BOTH HAD A GOOD LAUGH
OVER THAT.
BOB THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME A BETTER MAN BECAUSE I KNEW YOU. I NOW REALIZE
AS SITUATIONS COME UP I WILL ASK MYSELF WHAT WOULD BOB DO AND I WILL KNOW
WHAT TO DO. LOVE YOU BOB YOUR FRIEND IN CHRIST-GARY
*****
Sent by Pete Famolaro
I did not know Bob well, hardly on first name basis. I had watch him play
at a previous welcoming Ultreya and enjoyed more of his music throughout the
latest team school and Cursillo weekend....man could he play. The one
personal encounter I had is testament his generosity. Some of you may
recall the plight of Cammisa Beda, a nine year old girl who drowned last
spring. She remains severely handicap and the family is very limited
financially. I spoke to the men at team school to see if they could help.
In addition to asking for their prayers, I provided a flier with an address
to send checks if they had the means to help her family. I wasn't expecting
anything to happen that night but a few people had shoved money into my
hands. One of those people was Bob. He gave me a $100 bill. I thanked him
and we spoke for awhile. Among other things, he shared he did not make a
lot of money and that someone gave him that $100 earlier in the day. He
said he knew that money had a purpose and had found it in this families
needs. I remember driving home thinking about our conversation and how
naturally he put others before his own needs. That moved me deeply and
still does.
God Bless Bob Murphy.
*****
Sent by Don Bartalotta
I don't think my tears will ever stop. I feel so selfish to want him still
with us. I was blessed to worked with Bob for several years at AT&T. Before
I made my weekend in 1991 Bob asked me many times to join him at Noon mass
at St. Joseph's downtown, very few times I went. The Monday after my
Cursillo I could not wait to see Bob and ask him if I could sponsor him. I
said Bob you won't believe what I did this week end, it was the most
wonderful thing anyone could do. I made a Cursillo, and as I started to
tell him what it was, he calmly said "Don I was on the music team on the
previous weekend."
One other wonderful memory. Bob was flown out to Colorado by my groupies, to
go fishing with me as a retirement gift! While in a small boat in the
middle of the river Bob stood up and took off his shirt, I thought oh Lord
he is going to walk on water! I said Bob what are you doing? Again he
calmly said, "Don the anchor is stuck I need to free it" and in he went.
We are so blessed to have him as part of us. I truly Loved him and will
miss him.
God open your arms, you did good on this one, he is now yours. Good Bye
Bob.
DA Bartolotta (Don)
forgive
B&W B&B
*****
Sent by Chris Chavez
Bob Murphy was a hero to me. It is said that great athletes make others
around them better when they play. Bob did that with his music, even a
hacker like me felt like I was really doing good music whenever I had the
privilege of playing alongside Bob. I never heard an unkind word come out of
his mouth, he was truly an inspiration in the way he handled the down
periods in his life, he knew how to suffer fools gladly. Bob was one of a
kind and I will miss him for the rest of my life. Heaven's gain is our loss.
God called His child home, but too soon, too soon for me...Chris Chavez
*****
Sent by Jennifer (Close) Yakos
Bob Murphy and my dad Jack Close had a special friendship. For a few years
they would meet with one or two other Cursillistas every day for noon mass
at St. Joseph's Cathedral downtown. When my dad became ill with cancer, Bob
came over multiple times to the house to sing for him and my family. On the
day that my dad passed away, Bob showed up at the house and gave my dad a
beautiful gift - he played, sang, and prayed with us for several hours until
Jack took his last breath and met his Savior. I remember Bob saying that
something told him that morning to pick up his guitar and come over to our
house, not knowing what was waiting for him. I don't know if I ever really
thanked Bob enough for what he did that day, for being so open to the Lord,
so to follow His lead so unreservedly. We will miss you Bob, and rejoice in
your life and your beautiful spirit.
Jennifer (Close) Yakos
*****
Sent by Mike Daniels
There is a very under appreciated ministry in God's church that I call the
"Ministry of Just Showing Up". This ministry is best employed in times of
difficulty and challenge in a friend's life.
Bob Murphy taught me this ministry, and I am sure that many of you were
lucky enough to experience this ministry from him too.
When I was desperately sick from cancer. Worried, in pain, and self
conscious of looking sick (especially from a not so beautiful bald head) ...
Bob would often just "show up".
Sometimes he was alone, and sometimes he was accompanied by other angels who
knew this ministry like Jim Neville, or Brian Curry. Sometimes with large
groups where he provided the most beautiful music for a healing mass.
Bob had almost a sixth sense for when I was low and needed to be cheered up.
I now realize that it wasn't really a sixth sense,
it was because Bob was so tuned into the Holy Spirit that his spirit just
knew when you needed him.
He came ... he gave ... he wanted nothing but to cheer you up.
Bob more than anyone else represented the love of our Cursillo Community
which lifted me up when I was so ill.
Bob was all about unconditional love.
If you have ever wondered what it might be like to be in the presence of one
of the great saints of the church ... you have been. Bob Murphy embodied the
qualities they all possessed. Like Bob the great saints weren't perfect,
they were fully human. They struggled with temptation; they savored life's
joys. They showed their love of God by their great humanity to others.
Francis of Assisi, Catherine of Siena, Martin de Porres, Pope John XXIII,
Mother Teresa of Calcutta ... and now the newest great saint of the church
in heaven Bob Murphy.
What a privilege it has been to call such a great saint - my friend.
The best way to honor such a beloved and good friend, is to follow his
amazing example in the wonderful "Ministry of Just Showing Up". Like all the
great saints we can follow his example and be there for each other when
challenges come along, we can - love one another.
Love to all ... Mike Daniels
*****
Sent by Deacon Ken Finn
Dear Brothers,
It is with a heavy heart I write this after the shock and untimely death of
Bob Murphy, my beloved friend. Without hesitation I know all those who
believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and profess Him as Lord as Bob did are
reaping the reward of everlasting life. He is now looking into the eyes of
Jesus. He will be sorely missed by all of us at Benedictus. He sang of
Jesus while here with us and is now singing with the choir of angels the
praises of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
As you know this Saturday, June 10th, 2006 is our next Benedictus meal.
Deacon Bob Mueller will be giving his testimony and we will dedicate the
meal to Bob Murphy and include a memorial service where you will be able to
share your memories of Bob.
Fr. Jim Rafferty will celebrate the Mass at 7AM. He worked closely with Bob
in Cursillo. I was in the hospital with pneumonia when I got the news and I
immediately rushed to scripture to find strength and meaning of his going
and my staying. God's ways are not our ways and our ways are not God's ways.
He knows what's best for all of us. I close with Psalm 150
Praise God in his holy sanctuary;
Give praise in the mighty dome of heaven,
Give praise for his mighty deeds
Praise him for his great majesty.
Give praise with blasts upon the horn,
Praise him with harp and lyre,
Give praise with tambourines and dance,
Praise him with flutes and strings.
Give praise with crashing cymbals,
Praise him with sounding cymbals.
Let everything that has breath
Give praise to the Lord!
Hallelujah!
Your brother in Christ,
Deacon Ken
Spiritual Director/Benedictus
*****
Sent by Ed (Bear) Psota
ABRAHAM, MARTIN AND JOHN
Today is June 2, 2006, and yesterday we lost both a brother and good friend,
Bob Murphy. We lost him in this world, in his physical presence, but we
should never lose him in our hearts.
My first response was "Say it isn't so", then I felt as if I had been
punched in the stomach, a sickness came over me. Finally I rejoiced for Bob,
for he was home. I could only think of the choir of angels singing as he
entered the place Our Father had prepared for him. I could see a vision of
Bob picking up his green guitar and playing with the choir and wondering
what the fuss was all about.
Bob was truly a servant of the Lord. He was highly visible because of his
musical talents, but Bob was so much more than music.
Bob always seemed to be there for you. No matter how busy or distracted,
when you called upon him he was there with joy. He would pray with you, for
you and over you. He would help you move or try to move mountains for you
through prayer. He was always an example of the word servant.
I am sure as I write there will be many tributes to Bob, but I feel the
greatest tribute to Bob is to be more like him. I call upon all of you to
reflect upon what it is that you can do to be a better servant. You know
there are many ways, i.e. prayer, time at adoration, feeding the homeless,
helping the needy, building for humanity, serving on our weekends to bring
others closer to God, sponsoring someone at RCIA, teaching our youth through
CCD, visiting the sick in nursing homes and hospitals. The list goes on and
on. But we need to serve as Bob did and that was with humility, for our
service is for God's glory and not ours. Bob gave everything from the heart.
I can remember on the occasions Bob, would play at Benedictus or a Cursillo
event and I would thank him for sharing his gift. He would always sheepishly
drop his head and say, "It was nothing, I was glad to do it." There are so
many "Bobs" in our community, giving servants. We need to continue to do our
good works for the Lord and in remembrance of Bob Murphy.
We do not know the time and place. Who would have ever thought it would be
Bob's time so early in his life? It is time for us to heal, to heal those
wounds we might have with another. It is time to forgive and be whole with
the Lord.
I was reminded of the song "Abraham, Martin and John. The lyrics go
something like "Has anybody here seen my old friend Bobby? Can you tell me
where he's gone?" We know the place where he is gone. Let us rejoice and be
thankful for the gift of his life, his presence in our hearts and minds and
let us all continue to serve the Lord with humility, love and grace, as Bob
has done.
With Love,
Ed "Bear" Psota
Lay Director
*****
Sent by Jim Bello
BOB MURPHY, I HAVE A THOUSAND MEMORIES OF KNOWING MY DEAR FRIEND FOR 31
YEARS OF MY ADULT LIFE. WE WERE ROOMMATES AT COLLEGE OF THE SISKIYOUS, WHERE
I SPENT MANY NIGHTS AFTER FOOTBALL PRACTICES LISTENING TO BOB SING FOR
HOURS. SOMETIMES BOB WOULD BE ON THE PHONE TALKING TO HIS YOUNGER SIBLINGS
FAR AWAY IN SAN DIEGO, ALWAYS GIVING THEM ENCOURAGEMENT AND LOVE NO MATTER
WHICH ONE NEEDED IT. HE RANG UP LARGE PHONE BILLS, BUT IT WAS NOT THE COST,
BUT THE PURE LOVE THAT FLOWED FROM HIS VOICE TO THEIRS. AS TEARS RAN DOWN
HIS FACE, HE WOULD QUICKLY DRY THEM OFF, AND BEGAN TO SING LIKE HE WAS
TAKING THE WHOLE WORLD ON HIS SHOULDERS. ONLY MUSIC COULD EASE THE TRIALS OF
EVERY DAY
LIFE FOR BOB, AND HIS STRONG LOVE FOR THE LORD. BOB WAS THE MOST CONSIDERATE
PERSON THAT I EVER MET. HE ALWAYS PUT HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS IN FRONT OF
HIMSELF. THAT IS VERY HARD TO DO IN OUR SOCIETY, BUT NOT FOR BOBBY BECAUSE
HE WALKED IN THE LORDS FOOT STEPS WHERE HE WENT, AND WHO EVER HE
ENCOUNTERED. I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT BOB SERVED OUR LORDS KINGDOM WELL, HE
NEVER BRAGGED OR SLANDERED A SOUL. BUT YET HE WOULD GO ON IN LIFE AND SIT IN
ABORTION RALLIES TRYING TO BRING ATTENTION TO THE TERRIBLE ACTS OF MURDER
THAT WENT ON EVERY DAY. HE WAS ARRESTED A FEW TIMES BY OVER ZEALOUS LAW
ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS WHO WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY IN STRONGLY HAND CUFFING BOB,
ONCE CUTTING THE CIRCULATION OFF ON HIS WRISTS SO BAD THAT HIS HANDS TURN
BLUE. YES HE SUFFERED ENORMOUS PAIN AND AGONY, BUT HE FELT STRONGLY ABOUT
THE CAUSE SO HE GAVE IT A 100 PERCENT LIKE ALWAYS. MY FACE HAS SWOLLEN UP
WITH TEARS, SO I CAN NOT WRITE ANYMORE. BUT I WILL WRITE SOON THE WEIGHT OF
THE WORLD IS OFF YOUR STRONG SHOULDERS BOBBY MURPHY, OUR LORD EMBRACES YOU
AND TELLS YOU CLEARLY MY FAITHFUL SERVANT YOU HAVE DONE ALL I ASKED AND
MORE. WE GRIEVE FOR YOU BUT OUR GOAL IS TO MEET HIM IN HEAVEN, SO WE CAN
REALLY TELL HIM WE LOVE YOU MURPH.
*****
Sent by Kevin Dooley
During a Cursillo weekend, Mike Daniel's to be specific, my father and I
worked together in the kitchen. As one can expect, it can get pretty busy
preparing the meals as the attendees are in various talks and activities.
At some point on that Saturday, Bob and my father ended up talking. About
what, I will never know. On Saturday evening, Bob came up to me and said,
"Kevin, you don't know how good you have it, to have your father working the
weekend with you. There are a few men here who a "jealous" of you simply
because they never DID get to work a weekend with their fathers. Enjoy it.
Breath in God's gift to you!"
At that moment, I am sure that I did not think about it much. Jealous?
That left me with a big question; why would any of these men – older and
wiser and successful and happy – be jealous of me? And, I was distracted
when he said it. I was busy for crying out loud – I had to get the place
ready for the next meal! However, later that evening, I did take Bob's
words and moved them into action by simply going over to my father and
saying, "THANK YOU for coming Dad." My father smiled, and with a tear in
his eye told me, "Kevin, you are so blessed to have this Cursillo community
at your age. I am so happy for you and I am very proud of you for being
involved in your Catholic faith."
I do know that at some point I would have shared with my father my gratitude
for making the trip from Arizona to Julian. I also know that telling my
father, "thanks" would not have had the same meaning if it were not for Bob'
s words. Bob did what we all need to be reminded (sadly) of; To be thankful
for family, to be thankful for an awesome Christian Community, and to be
reminded that just when we don't think we don't have the time..........we really
do.
*****
Sent by Jim Server
I did not know Bob Murphy well, but I will never forget the day that he sung
his song "Mommy" right after we had celebrated an outdoor mass on my
Cursillo weekend. It was a beautiful October, Saturday morning and our group
had just prayed over Mike Daniels and Larry Seaman, when Bob O'Neil (rector
for 218) asked Bob if he would sing this song. Bob grabbed a guitar and
began singing this song that brought a stream of tears from every eye. What
impressed me most about Bob was not his obvious God given talent or his
strong voice, it was his passion and emotion with which he sang. The song
struck a chord with us all, and it was a defining moment for our weekend.
I thank God for our brother Bob.
James Server
#218
*****
Sent by Herb Kelsey
When my first wife, Angie, was dying of cancer, Bob came to our home one
afternoon and sang to her for well over an hour, praying over her with his
wonderful music. I know it brought both of us closer to Christ in those
trying last moments of her life.
Bringing people closer to his beloved Jesus was what Bob Murphy was all
about.
Herb Kelsey
In God We Trust
*****
Sent by Tim Houghtby
I met Bob at the El Cajon Boy's Club when I was 9 years old. Even though he
was a year older than me, he was already a leader and role model. He always
had his hand out for help to anyone. Bob and I would meet again in High
School where he had a loyal following of friends and admirers. His true
kindness and love touched everyone. His senior year Bob tried out for the
basketball team. His hustle and determination and great attitude showed me
again what he was made of. He always had a smile and positive things to say
about everyone.
When I saw him in November at the ECVHS football playoffs I went over and
gave him a huge hug. In hindsight, I think he was embarrassed at being the
focus of attention which he always shunned. God sent Bob to us as an example
of how he wanted us to live our lives on the earthly plane. He will always
be in my heart. Thank you Lord for letting Bob Murphy into our lives.
*****
Sent by Fr. Bud
Just completed celebrating Mass of the Dead for Bob Murphy. I believe he
lived a saintly life in the manner of Jesus , Saint Francis and Saint
Augustine, to name a few. He always radiated the compassion of Christ, the
love of God's gifts in nature and life, as did Saint Francis; and, through
his music added substance to Saint Augustine's instruction: He who sings,
prays twice. (God! Did I do a lot of praying out there.)
Sent by Barbara & Tim Conaty
I wanted to pass this on from our friend Fr. Bud who worked many Cursillos
before becoming a priest nine years ago. We have all been touched by Bob's
passing. We are saddened by the loss of Bob. His spirit will live on in all
those he touched. His faith and music will be in the hearts of all of us.
May the angels and saints welcome him into heaven with song.
Barbara and Tim Conaty
*****
Sent by Rick Ghio
I have included a portion of text from the book I am writing. This part of
the chapter is just one example of how Bob touched my life. When I worked
this past Cursillo I felt compelled to tell Bob how His devotion to Mary
provided me the impetus to begin my devotion to Mary. The title of this
chapter is "The Gift of His Mother."...
I spoke earlier on how Mary had helped me during the period of time after
Mom's death. I am but a novice when it comes to having great knowledge
about Mary's many virtues. Knowing that a bunch of Catholic men had a
strong devotion to Mary was a huge awareness for me. Prior to Cursillo, I
had all the basic information about Mary. I knew she was the Mother of our
Savior Jesus Christ. I knew she became pregnant with Jesus "through the
power of the Holy Spirit." And I knew she gave birth to Jesus in a manger.
Beyond that, I knew very little.
The door opened for me to begin my exploration of the many virtues of Mary
at my Cursillo. We didn't talk much about Mary at Cursillo. I'm not even
sure there was a statue of Mary. God, like he does many times, uses other
people to get our attention. At Cursillo, he was using an extremely
talented musician to get my attention. The lyrics were so touching and they
were sung by a fellow named Bob Murphy. With every song, Bob would pour out
his heart. God had blessed him with a powerful, pure, and uplifting voice.
Surely Bob had to have had a recording contract, I thought.
After a couple of days on my Cursillo retreat, I asked a friend who knew Bob
to tell me about him. My friend indicated Bob did indeed have a passion to
sing the praises of our Lord. My friend went on to say that Bob also had a
strong devotion to Mary. There it was! Right then and there, at that very
moment, I thought to myself, "I need to learn more about Mary!"
Because of Bob Murphy I too have a passion for the Blessed Virgin Mary who
among many things has been instrumental in helping me through many of life's
challenges.
May he rest in peace.
Rick Ghio
*****
Sent by Larry Ashbacher
My family and I were having dinner with Jim House this evening after Mass @
UCSD Catholic Community. (Jim and Bob Murphy had been roommates for the
past 7 years) We were remembering Bob Murphy through the years and suddenly
it occurred to me that in our midst was a truly holy person - a Saint in
many ways. If we work together (our Cursillo community) through the years
and gather the collective memory of Bob -it might be possible to gather
enough documentation and a few miracles to promote a cause for his
canonization.
Just a thought -
I know Bob is with the Lord!
Larry Ashbacher
*****
Sent by Don Kojis
Bob Murphy's voice prints are all over the 161 acres of Whispering Winds
Catholic Camp. He shared his wonderful musical talents with us at the camp
in Julian, CA., at weekend retreats but especially on Cursillo Weekends.
Years ago, Bob said he would like to help raise money to continue the
building of Whispering Winds, so he put on a wonderful concert with his band
at the El Cajon Performing Arts Center. A sellout crowd cheered as they
performed and Whispering Winds received a nice check. Whispering Winds and I
personally will miss Bob's wonderful smiling face, fantastic personality and
love of the Lord and his fellow man.
Bob was a "Servant of the Lord" and whenever I hear the "Servant's Song," it
will bring a vision of Bob's smiling, singing, happy face to me.
Don Kojis
Co-Founder
Whispering Winds Catholic Camp
*****
Sent by Deacon Mitch Rennix
Our friend Bob Murphy is still very much with us. True, our Lord called his
body from this earth, but Bob's spirit remains in our lives. and it always
will. Will you ever see a green guitar, anywhere, and not think about Bob?
Will you ever hear any song about the sadness of abortion and not think
about Bob? Will a football season in San Diego ever pass without Bob's name
being mentioned? Will a Cursillo weekend ever happen without stories about
Bob being told?..not for a very long time. Will any Cursillo weekend ever
start quite the same without Bob singing "were you there when they crucified
my Lord"?
Our loss..Heavens gain. Bob changed our world, and not in a small or quiet
way, but he rocked our Christian thought process with his inspired music and
his inspired life. Do you remember the first time you heard him sing about
the Centurion Solider? ..or of course, "Mommy"? Were you the same after you
heard those songs? I certainly was not. They changed the way I think and act
because they went to the very core of who I was and they lit a fire inside
me. I am a better person because Bob was in my life, and yet, I'm just one
of many, many people, perhaps many thousands, who say that. His ministry was
his life, and his life was rich.
I am so sad for us who remain, yet filled with tears of Joy for the Journey
that is now Bob's. Like the Saints before him, he has become a model for all
of us to follow. I won't be surprised when I'm driving down some road and I
look at the green bumper sticker in front of me and it reads.."what would
Bob Do?"
The highest honor that we could ever bestow upon Bob, is to live our lives
in a virtuous manner..just as he taught us.
*****
Sent by Karen Ryan
As a fellow musician, I appreciated Bob's input and the music that he had
written whenever we played together eg on a "Back to the Mountain" weekend.
He took the time to copy music for me and review the tunes. He was a real
talent and genuinely nice man. I was
lucky to have known him.
-Karen Ryan
*****
Sent by Daniel Perwich
My family, which at the time was only my wife Rita and me, came to know Bob
Murphy in 1988. We met him through John Carniglia, who was very close to Bob
and his music ministry at that time. We were trying to adopt through
Catholic Charities and Bob and John were very supportive of us. We were on
Bob's prayer wheel, his list of people he prayed for regularly. Bob was
active in pro-life. He made himself available (like we know he did for so,
so many others throughout his life) to provide music, which at that time
featured his song "Mommy" which is still the most beautiful pro-life song we
have ever heard. Bob was not just about music, he lived and breathed his
faith in Jesus Christ in everything. He was a Priest disguised in blue
jeans. In every situation in community that Bob came into he brought our
Lord's sunshine and love. We never knew Bob in any other way. That was Bob
Murphy.
From the beginning until the end Bob has been a significant part of our
lives. He celebrated the birth and adoption of our two daughters Christina
and Ashley, 17 and 14 years ago. Our children have been blessed with knowing
Bob for all their lives. Our daughter Ashley still has a picture she drew of
Bob in December 2002 during a mass. Bob tirelessly provided the Christian
party with music and song and his love when we attended to John who suffered
a brain injury in 1997. John lived at that facility for many years, and we
would gather several times a year to visit with John. When Bob Murphy walked
in with his guitar and his shy smile, the party would get started! He knew
all John's favorite songs. That was Bob Murphy.
Bob had a birthday party at his house. I think it was his 40th. We gathered
around and said the Rosary together. It was a very beautiful experience. A
real Christian birthday party. That was his true love. That was Bob Murphy.
A long time after Bob's wife divorced him, we had a dinner to try to match
Bob up with a very nice and intelligent lady whose husband had divorced her
probable two years earlier. Rita and I thought it was interesting that her
last name was also Murphy. At the end of a long evening at our home, the
woman told me that she had never met anyone like Bob. In a very nice way,
the gist of her assessment was that even though Bob's wife had left him and
had re-married, in Bob's heart he was still married and that his heart would
not change. That was Bob Murphy.
To be honest, I/we did not have enough time with Bob. I wanted more. I haven't
seen Bob for several months, although I discovered that just last Sunday
Bob did a funeral in Coronado. He was called by someone he did not know and
was asked to provide his music at the funeral of the man's grandfather. Bob
was there. That was Bob Murphy.
Within the last two weeks a little voice in my head told me to call Bob and
see if he could get together. I wanted time just so we could play guitar and
hang out. I wanted some time with Bob, just me and him having fun playing
guitar, not work, just play. Like other mistakes I have made, I didn't't act
on that little voice and I can not say that I have a very recent memory of
good times with Bob. I am not sure what all the lessons are form this. But I
am sure that Bob is at peace, and at a level I can not understand, he is
probably hanging out and playing guitar in heaven, not working, just
playing. Our beloved Bob, a good and faithful servant has gone home.
Daniel, Rita, Christina and Ashley Perwich
*****
Sent by Tim O'Shea
It's a Glorious Day in Heaven now that Bob Murphy has been called Home . . .
And It's a Glorious day for Bob to walk with Jesus in Heaven, too . . .
Let us all rejoice and be glad that Bob and Jesus have this moment together
. . .
Murph made his environment a better place and all of us wanting to be a
little bit better in ours . . .
We will all miss Bob . . . allot . . . Celebrate him Home . . . .
*****
Sent by Carol Ann (Connolly) Robilotta
Growing up, Bob was a fixture in our household. He was one of my brother
Steve's best friends, but I just thought of him as another brother. I
remember making French toast for him every weekend. He was always so
appreciative. He actually was better than a brother, because he only said
nice things to his "little sister."
There wasn't a family event where he didn't sing (my wedding & children's
baptisms included).
I remember one time, his guitar was stolen out of the back of my sister's
car. So we all got together and threw a "Bring Back the Music" party where
friends donated to buy Bob a new guitar. He was SO GRATEFUL and overwhelmed
with the outpouring of love.
I know he's with God and probably playing music for my sister and parents
right now.
I'll miss him, but will keep his memory as a way to remind me how God wants
us to be on Earth.
DeColores, Bob.
Carol Ann (Connolly) Robilotta
*****
Sent by Anthony Brown
Dear Brothers & Sisters,
As shocking as it was to hear the news of Bob's death on Thursday, I wasn't
immediately saddened because I felt in my heart that God had called him home
and probably was saying to him, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
I knew Bob not as a close friend would know him, but as a friend who shares
a faith-filled experience (Cursillo) and passion (music) for sharing that
faith. I admired Bob's ability and courage to make music that spoke of his
faith, and I suppose that's partly what has inspired me to share my faith in
similar fashion.
When I read John Sawaya' s notes about Bob's last day on Wednesday, I had a
profoundly different and tearful reaction in being reminded of the
Christ-like spirit that Bob radiated. I echo John's comments that "I can
only hope my last day on earth is similar to Bob Murphy's." Bob's
homecoming will leave an enormous void that all of us will feel for some
time to come.
Unfortunately I don't have any personal experiences with Bob to share, but I
will share with you my perspective of the Cursillo experiences that we all
shared together with Bob's voice and acoustic guitar on the mountain. I
remember that while he would play and sing... sometimes melodically and
sometimes speak-singing, but always from the heart... he would smile a
certain smile that was a profession of faith and confidence in Him to whom
and for whom he was REALLY singing.
Knowing how happy Bob was while professing his faith in song here on Earth,
I can only imagine how happy he is to have been brought home to sing eternal
praises to our God in heaven. I will remember Bob for his song and his
smile.
Peace,
+anthony
*****
Sent by Alex Sanchez
I first met Bob at a Mejagorie Peace Conference.
He was praying for babies.
When I met him he was 33.
Wasn't that how old Jesus was?
He was a strong, young man.
A man with conscience and conviction.
You really don't find many people like that.
But, isn't that the way Jesus was?
He was an artist.
He created things.
With his hands and his spirit.
Didn't Jesus do that too?
Bob helped me bury my father.
I saw things differently because of him.
He showed me how to love others.
Isn't that what Jesus did?
He left us so suddenly.
But not before he loved us.
Not until he showed us.
Not until he prayed with us.
Isn't that what Jesus did?
*****
Sent by John Sawaya
My dad, Jim Sawaya, serves mass every day at St. Joseph's Cathedral
downtown. He's has gotten to know Bob Murphy over the years as Bob is a
frequent visitor to the noon mass at St. Joes. Wednesday, the day before Bob
died, he showed up at noon mass and my dad gave him communion. My dad said
he saw Bob leaving after mass with one of the local homeless person's on his
way to buy the guy lunch. He said the homeless guy had this huge smile on
his face as Bob escorted him to the deli. Mass, Communion and helping the
homeless.... I can only hope my last day on earth is similar to Bob
Murphy's.
*******************
Bob Murphy lived the life that he was sent here to lead. He stretched out his hands to so many. We all seem to have a Bob Murphy story. Mine is not earth-shattering, but it is so much of who Bob was. I knew Bob because of his music. I was very fortunate to be invited to sing with the Sunday, 5:30p.m.choir at Holy Trinity Church for the last few years. I never fully understood how I was so fortunate to be a part of his music, but I always appreciated it. Bob was a monster talent who knew how to draw out the best in all of us. Bob knew about my mother who has had cancer and he responded to my requests for prayers at times.
My mom also has a degenerative eye disease. A big part of her daily routine as a 5th Order Carmelite Nun is to read many prayers. These are not your standard 'Our Father' and 'Hail Marys'. For my mom's Christmas present, our family decided it would be a good idea to record her children reading these prayers. This way, as her eyesight declined she would still be able to continue her prayers. As part of this process, my mom asked me to record two songs that she sang each time she prayed.
Much as I enjoy singing with the choir, I do not like to sing alone. So, my initial response to her request was, "Oh no." My second response was, "I'm calling Bob. He'll help me." So, I called and left a message at Bob's house asking if he would be willing to play guitar for me so I could record these two songs.
(In all the times I called Bob, he was never home because he was always off helping someone with something.) When he returned my call a few days later, Bob told me he thought he had, "finally got Matt talked down". I was surprised, and asked how Matt got involved? Bob had asked our pianist, Matt Belker, to bring his professional recording device (vs. my $25.00 recorder) to the church to record for us. Needless to say, Matt also wanted to add piano and a few instruments to make it sound "really good". On the day that was scheduled we recorded those two songs, with Bob playing guitar and singing harmony, for my mother. Matt somehow made my voice 'ring' in a way it never has before. My mom told me she couldn't listen to the music without crying for at least two months. That recording meant the world to my mom, and to me.
Bob, of course, said it was nothing. But it was! These were the moments of Bob. Always humble, he took things and made them bigger, more meaningful, more Christlike DAILY. His ability to guide us toward the Lord, without criticizing our waywardness, was astounding! His happy smile could move anyone.
Each week before we went in to mass to sing, we would pray. Bob often asked God to help us walk in the shoes, or on the path, that He wanted us to walk (vs. the one we might otherwise choose). Bob often asked that our music be more than music, that it would become prayer. He liked to ask that we be blessed, "from the top of our heads to the tip of our toes." He did such a fine job of showing us how to live right. We really do know how to go about it. I think our challenge is to rise to that level. Bob would be so proud!
The last words Bob said to me were, "If you can't be there, it will be our loss." In fact, the reverse happened. Bob was the one who couldn't "be there" since he had a much more important appointment -with God.
I miss my spiritual friend terribly, but thank heaven for every day that I was able to share a small part of his loving, powerful and awesome life! Bob continues to guide me daily. What a gift!
Lee Connolly
***********************************************************************************
To offer other Witness accounts, please email your stories to the Dcns. Mitch Rennix and Charlie Frice who are the Spiritual Director's
for our community. They will review your stories, and upon their approval, your stories may be added to this site for others to read,
and reflect upon.
Click here to Submit your Witness Stories to Dcns.
Mitch Rennix and Charlie Frice.
Last Updated:
August 28, 2006
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