The process of making a decision about your life with the help of the Holy Spirit is called Discernment. It is a process of discovering God's will for you - which ultimately is your happiness.

In the process you deal with two persons you and God. And during the process you will get to know both better. As you begin remember both you and God ultimately desire the same thing - your happiness.

The process of discernment, though often a struggle is not complicated.
It has four steps.

STEP 1

GET TO KNOW YOURSELF. Know your likes and dislikes, your fears and your dreams, your hopes and your interests, your abilities and your limitations. Get to know how you work under stress, what kind of leadership you respond to, how much structure you need in your life.

See how others view you in the work situation, under stress or at leisure. Reflect how you view others. Are you able to accept others, to work with them?

One way to look at a call from the Lord is to see him acting all through your life. God created you with a unique personality, and allowed you to experience a personal history. Your personality and personal history are part of your call.

As you get to know yourself, accept what you find. You might want to change some aspects of yourself in the future, but begin by accepting yourself as you are.

Try and keep a journal to record your feelings over a period of time. Going back over this journal and reflecting on changes in our feelings and ideas will give a picture of the person you are.

Another road to self- discovery is to develop a relationship with a spiritual director or someone else whom you trust and who can be objective with you. If you are open and honest with this person, self knowledge will increase.
 

STEP 2

BE IN TOUCH WITH THE LORD. Develop a life of prayer, not just in times of crisis, but regularly. No relationship develops between persons unless they listen to each other, Learn to listen to the Lord in prayer and not merely to ask him to listen to you. You have to spend time with him, listen to him, be honest with him, and occasionally be willing to wait on him.

Prayer is a highly personal response to a personal love that God has for you individually. Because you are unique, your prayer response is going to be unique. Don't hesitate to experiment with various forms of prayer until you find those which best express your relationship with the Lord.

Many good books are available on prayer today. One you might consider is: YOU - Prayer for Beginners and For Those Who Have Forgotten How, by Mark Link SJ. It is a guideline for prayerful contemplation and conversation with the Lord. It suggests various forms of experimentation in prayer.

Look for the evidence of God's love in nature, in the circumstances of your life, in other people. God is active in every aspect of your life. The better you come to know the Lord, the more you will be able to perceive God at work in your life.
 

STEP 3

THE DECISION MAKING PROCESS ITSELF.As you get to know yourself more and your relationship with the Lord prayerfully gather the facts about your decision. Consider alternatives. Write out the pros and cons of each alternative. Try to project what effect each alternative will have on you five and ten years from now.

In considering Religious Life, search out information about various Religious communities, their work and their lifestyle. Consider other careers which may fit you. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each? Talk to priests, sisters, brothers, married deacons and to people in other walks of life. Visit Religious houses as well as the work situations of possible careers, if that is possible. Try to see yourself as a priest, brother, sister ten years from now and as a married person with a family ten years from now. Which seems to best fit you?

As you gather the facts for the alternative life choices open to you, be particularly attentive to your feelings. If you have been open and honest with yourself in Step 1 and with the Lord in Step 2, you can trust your feelings. Choose what appears is best for you and what God is calling you to.
 

STEP 4

CONFIRM YOUR DECISION. After you have made your decision, spend time in prayer for an extended period to see if the decision still seems right. If it is, there would normally be a continuation of inner peace and satisfaction. This period of confirmation should go on for an extended interval, several weeks or more, to be sure that the peace you feel is true tranquillity and not simply the relief that follows a difficult decision.

You can also be confirmed in your decision by sharing it with others such as your spiritual director or someone else with whom you have worked throughout the process.
 

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