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Family
Night
-- A Night Together
by Howard Distelzweig
| A
family with several children
can find themselves so busy with sports, clubs, lessons and meetings of
all sorts that they spend little time doing things together. My wife
and
I adapted a pattern we saw others using and made every Saturday evening
"Family Night." |
One of the great challenges that parents face in our
society is maintaining
family cohesiveness in the face of the many influences that tend to
pull
families apart. Besides the forces that are directly hostile to family
life, there is a hidden danger in the multitude of activities available
for people of all ages. Even activities that are good in themselves
often
damage families, thereby upsetting God's plan for human life. A family
with several children can find themselves so busy with sports, clubs,
lessons
and meetings of all sorts that they spend little time doing things
together.
And the older the children get, the greater the demands. In order to
combat
this tendency, my wife and I adapted a pattern we saw others using and
made every Saturday evening "Family Night."
A
Meal of Celebration
We begin with our main meal of the week, which we consider the
beginning
of the Lord's Day, and then we play games or have some other
entertaining
activity. When we started this tradition, our first child was a toddler
and we had several single adults living with us. Over the years more
children
came and we no longer had extra adults, but after almost 25 years,
Saturday
night is still Family Night.
During this time we have tried many different kinds of
activities.
Some
work better for us than others. Sometimes we play cards, letting
younger
children be on teams with adults if necessary. Occasionally we played
board
games such as "Chutes and Ladders" when the children were younger;
"Clue"
is the most popular choice today. At times, especially if we are all
exhausted
from the week, we rent a video, often from the Classics section. (We
have
seen all the Abbott and Costello films our local superstore stocks).
What
we enjoy most, however, are activities that require a little more
creativity.
Games
for Relating
Bible charades was probably our most frequent choice for a long period,
and it is still a favorite. Instead of movies and books, we use
categories
such as biblical persons, events and quotations. The story of David and
Goliath was acted out many times when our children were little.
"Machines",
in which one or more people mime some kind of machine, is a very
entertaining
variation on charades. We found that the younger children enjoyed
working
with older children or adults to portray mixers, pianos, and even
computers.
One of our most ambitious and creative activities is "Grab-Bag
Dramatics".
One person gathers bags of common household objects; a group of three
or
four participants shares one bag. Each group prepares a short skit
using
all the items in their bag as props. This activity requires a fairly
large
number of people and a high percentage of adults or older children, but
it is a lot of fun.
Designed
to Include Everyone
The local Christian bookstores have provided us with games which we
simplified slightly and have enjoyed immensely. "Bible Pictionary" is
one
of our all-time favorites. The essence of the game is to make the other
participants guess the biblical person, place, object or event you have
in mind by drawing. Speed, not high art, is the goal. We use a large
newsprint
sketch pad and crayons instead of the small pad that comes with the
game.
"Bible Baseball" is another game we modified and simplified. There are
several books of Bible quiz questions available, supposedly divided
into
levels of difficulty, but we found some of the singles more difficult
than
some of the home runs. All these Bible-based games have the additional
benefit of increasing interest in and knowledge of the Bible.
We have also enjoyed a number of seasonal activities that have deepened
our appreciation of the liturgy and liturgical year. During Advent we
have
made Jesse tree symbols and Christmas ornaments. One year, for variety,
we made an advent mobile instead of a Jesse tree. We have spent some
Lent
Family Nights decorating Easter candles - family-size versions of the
Paschal
Candle - which we then light for our Saturday dinners from Easter until
Ascension Thursday.
We have enjoyed many other activities in the 20 years we have
been
doing
this, but these indicate the range we have found helpful. Our minimum
requirement
in choosing an activity is that everyone is able to participate,
although
not everyone has to be enthusiastic about the activity. A willingness
to
do something occasionally that one doesn't especially enjoy is
essential
for Family Night to work – indeed, for family life to work! The
ability to accept others' limitations doesn't seem to be inborn in our
children, but it also is necessary. Another problem we have had to deal
with, especially when our children were younger, was competitiveness.
We
don't generally have teams when we play games like charades, and we
keep
score as little as possible. Noncompetitive activities are still our
preference.
Facing
the
Competition
The biggest obstacle we face in maintaining our tradition of Family
Night is the attraction of other activities. Our children's friends
don't
have the same Saturday night obligation our children do. As our
children
have become old enough to drive, the pressure to skip Family Night or
to
let a family member go out instead of participating increases. We have
never been completely rigid in observing this tradition, and we do let
the older teenagers not participate on rare occasions. More often we
let
them go out afterwards, but this can result in very late nights. We are
helped in dealing with this tension by the fact that our children have
grown up with Family Night and really like it.
We have seen many side benefits from our Family Night
activities,
such
as greater creativity and increased knowledge of the bible, but the
over-riding
reason we maintain the tradition is simply to be a family. Almost
always
we have a good time, but even when our time together isn't of the
highest
quality, our familial relationships are strengthened. Years of Family
Nights
store up fond memories and forge bonds of love. The saying that "The
family
that prays together stays together" is indubitably true, but we have
found
that there are blessings also when the family plays together.
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