Reflections and Guidelines for Planning the Funeral of a Loved One
St. John Chrysostom Parish, West Roxbury

"If one member suffers in the body of Christ which is the Church,
all the members suffer with that member." (1 Cor 12:26)

The death of a family member or friend is one of life's most painful moments. Please accept our parish's sincerest condolences in this time of your loss. We are with you in faith, trusting Christ's promise that, for His faithful people, "life is changed, not ended."

"I am the resurrection and the life," says the Lord. (John 11:25)

Catholics have special rituals to orient us and get us through the initial days of loss. At St. John Chrysostom Parish, we have a long tradition of celebrating such funeral rites with warmth, reverence, prayerfulness, and simplicity. "The ministry of the Church at this time is one of gently accompanying the mourners in their initial adjustment to the fact of death and to the sorrow this entails. Through a careful use of the Church's funeral rites, the Church helps the mourners to express their sorrow and to find strength and consolation through faith in Christ and his resurrection to eternal life" (Order of Christian Funerals, 52).

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The Order of Christian Funerals


The usual manner of Catholic burial is with a Vigil (wake), a Funeral Mass, and the Rite of Committal at the grave. "By means of the funeral rites it has been the practice of the Church, as a tender mother, not simply to commend the dead to God but also to raise high the hope of its children and to give witness to its own faith in the future resurrection of the baptized with Christ" (Order of Christian Funerals).

The Vigil


The Vigil (wake) is the principal rite celebrated by the Catholic community after death and before the funeral. There are several options from the Order of Christian Funerals for the Vigil liturgy, which usually takes place in the funeral home. Prayers are offered by the family and friends on behalf of the deceased. Sometimes pictures are displayed or favorite songs are played. If family members or friends want to share memories of the deceased, the Vigil is a proper place to do so. If you wish to incorporate such personal remembrances, please arrange this in advance with the person who will be leading the Vigil prayers.

The Funeral Mass

"Dying, you destroyed our death. Rising, you restored our life. Lord Jesus, come in glory!"

As a means to express their sorrow and love, family members may participate in the Funeral Mass in several ways. Of course, our primary means of participation in the Mass is always by our full, conscious, and active participation in the prayers and offering of the Eucharist. "Such participation by the Christian people as a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a redeemed people is their right and duty by reason of their Baptism." In addition, here are some other ways for family members and friends to participate in a more personal way in the Funeral Mass.

The Opening Rites


The Mass begins with the welcoming of the mourners and the sprinkling of the casket with the holy water that recalls our baptismal sharing in the life, death, and resurrection of the Lord. The casket is then covered with the white funeral pall, which reminds us of the baptismal garment we wore when we were "clothed with Christ." A sacred symbol, such as a bible or a crucifix, may now be placed on the pall-covered casket. If you wish to participate in these simple opening rites, please arrange this in advance with the funeral director and the priest.

"In hope, we were saved." (Romans 8:24)

The Liturgy of the Word


The Church places great importance on the reading of the sacred scriptures during the funeral liturgies. The funeral readings speak of our hope in Christ in our future triumph over death in the resurrection to come. "A careful selection and use of readings from scripture for the funeral rites will provide the family and community with an opportunity to hear God speak to them in their needs, sorrows, fears, and hopes" (Order of Christian Funerals, 22).

Usually, there are two or three scripture readings during the Funeral Mass. The first reading is from the Old Testament and the second reading is from the New Testament. Family members are encouraged to choose these readings from a list that is available from the parish staff or funeral director. If they are able to, family members and/or friends may proclaim the first two readings during the Mass. Between the first and second readings, a psalm will be sung by the cantor. "Above all, the psalms sing of faith in God … They enable us to pray in the words that Jesus himself used during his life on earth" (Order of Christian Funerals, 25). One of several psalm texts listed on our parish planning sheet may be selected. Other songs that are not psalms are not used here.

The Gospel is usually selected by the priest, although suggestions from the family are welcome. A homily, based on the scriptures and our hope in God's compassionate love and the gift of eternal life in Christ, will follow.

Presentation of the Gifts


Family members are invited to carry to the altar the gifts of bread and wine for the Eucharist. Some families invite children or grandchildren to participate in the presentation of the gifts.

Personal words of remembrance (optional)


Following the Prayer after Communion, a member or a friend of the family may speak in remembrance of the deceased. One speaker may be chosen by the family to offer a presentation that should be simple, brief, well-prepared, and appropriate for its place during Mass. Within the context of the funeral liturgy, the tone of such a personal reflection should remain one of faith and hope, and should emphasize the way the deceased lived the Christian life.

Please keep the length to five minutes (about one typed page). Longer or multiple reflections are not appropriate during Mass, but may be incorporated into the Vigil service at the funeral home, or during the Committal Service at the grave. Please arrange this in advance with the priest.

Sacred Music


Sacred music "allows the community to express convictions and feelings that words alone may fail to convey. It has the power to console and uplift the mourners and to strengthen the unity of the assembly in faith and love" (Order of Christian Funerals, 30). Secular music is not appropriate for the Funeral Mass, but may be suitable for the Vigil, the Committal, or during the reception following the funeral. Please consult the list of suggested hymns and sacred music on our parish planning sheet.

"We await the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come."
(Nicene Creed)

Cremation


There are times when cremation of the deceased is an appropriate or necessary option for families. In permitting cremation, the Church still holds firm to its belief that we await the resurrection of the body on the last day, when all the faithful will share in Christ's resurrection from the dead. Cremation may take place either before or after the Funeral Mass. In either case, Catholic funeral rites can still be celebrated. If the cremated remains will be present at the Mass, this should be discussed in advance with the priest.

"The cremated remains of a body should be treated with the same respect given to the human body from which they come…. The cremated remains should be buried in a grave or entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium. The practice of scattering cremated remains on the sea, from the air, or on the ground, or keeping cremated remains in the home of a relative or friend of the deceased are not the reverent disposition that the Church requires" (Order of Christian Funerals, 417).

Donations


Traditionally, at the time of a funeral, families make a donation to assist in the support of the parish. In addition, families are responsible for the stipends for the parish musicians if they are present for the Mass. The funeral director will help you in this matter.

Sometimes, family members and friends want to remember the deceased by making a donation to the parish. We recommend that, prior to purchasing any item, such as vestments, for the Church, you speak with the priest concerning the needs of the parish.

St. John Chrysostom Parish Memorial Fund

St. John Chrysostom Parish has instituted a new Parish Memorial Fund. If you wish to support our parish through this special fund, please inform the funeral director so this information can be included in the newspaper announcement. Memorial gift cards will be made available at the funeral home, and acknowledgments from the parish will be sent to each donor.

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